As I sit here at 9 o'clock on a Saturday night, 74 1/2 cookies baked, and half a bottle of duckleberry grunt (okay 3/4 of a bottle) later, I've decided that I hate technology. I hate that we have the ability to contact anyone anywhere in this world at our convenience. I hate it because when you can't reach that person, it feels like your world is crashing down around you. On the other hand, I love the distance and space and the alone time that it gives me. In other words, I guess I didn't fully weigh out my pros and cons before I committed to this. I suppose that I was so focused on the unselfish outcome of this decision that I wasn't focused enough on myself for once in my life. I'm ready for it to be summer. To be working 15 hour days again. To be in the sun and in the company of the people that I cherish. To have my new baby niecephew, and one less Walker in this world. Which for some reason, reminds me of Joseph. And that I just realized I missed his anniversary this year, something I thought I'd never forget and yet I have, only three short years later. I hope he understands that life gets busy. That he is always in my thoughts and prayers and I am still grateful for the role he played in my life. And that I still think of his family, and wish them the best, which is what they deserve. For him to know that I still question his decisions, yet support them. That I don't mourn for him, but celebrate his joy for living and adventure. "I love you, always."